Local Stoners Finally Learn to Use GPS After Years of Getting Lost

In a surprising turn of events that absolutely nobody saw coming…

Cannabis enthusiasts throughout Sacramento and its surrounding areas are reporting a sudden surge in their ability to successfully navigate to their favorite dispensaries, particularly The Sanctuary. This breakthrough in personal navigation comes after years of getting hilariously lost on simple trips to the store.

“I used to tell people I lived five minutes from The Sanctuary,” explains one regular customer, “but somehow it always took me two hours to get there. Turns out I was just walking in circles around my own neighborhood.”

The phenomenon has spread throughout Sacramento, Roseville, Citrus Heights, Represa, Folsom, and West Sacramento, with previously directionally-challenged cannabis consumers now successfully finding their way to dispensaries with unprecedented accuracy.

Local traffic patterns have notably improved since customers stopped:

• Making seventeen U-turns in front of the same Taco Bell
• Accidentally driving to Oregon while looking for Folsom
• Mistaking random houses for dispensaries and trying to enter
• Getting distracted by clouds and forgetting where they’re going

One traffic analyst noted that GPS apps have seen a 420% increase in proper usage among cannabis enthusiasts, though many users still struggle with basic concepts like:

1. Understanding that “You have arrived” doesn’t mean “Keep driving for another hour”
2. Recognizing that their phone is upside down
3. Remembering their actual destination

The Sanctuary’s customers have particularly benefited from this evolutionary leap in navigation skills. “It’s beautiful to see people walking straight through our front door instead of wandering aimlessly around the parking lot for 45 minutes,” notes one observer.

Medical professionals are calling this development a significant breakthrough in spatial awareness among cannabis consumers, though they caution that some challenges remain. For instance, many customers still report spending extended periods contemplating whether the blue dot on their phone screen is “following them” or if they’re “following it.”

The only downside? Local pizza delivery drivers report a significant decrease in tips from customers who used to be too confused to realize they’d already paid online.

Remember, whether you’re in Sacramento, Roseville, or any nearby area, The Sanctuary is your destination for quality cannabis products – now easier to find than ever, assuming you remember where you put your phone.